Just Before Exams

Now this has happened to all of you. Whenever exams are around, life seems to bring the most event full happenings. All of a sudden your boring monotonous life gets caught up in an unusual frenzy of fast moving wind, which just like in the hindi movies flies the white piece of cloth of a girl on to your face and sweeps across leaving you breathless for a moment and lingers on for so long, that you eventually fuck up your exams. You get tied in the desire to ask her for coffee or get your notes photocopied. And God help you if she is in your class. You plan your first date with her in a quite studious environment to “study”, which ultimately turns out a revision session for her and a staring session for you. Yes, we have all been through this and on both sides. The reason I am writing this, is not because it has happened to me. No, sorry to disappoint you, but it is currently happening to my roommate and I see him showing all signs of denial which is an equally common phase. I just hope he gets what he is running around in circles for. Love you man. Cheers !!

My Night of Dreams

Slowly strumming the strings of a guitar, by the beach on a starry night, with the waves rhyming their arrival with your tune, the wind carelessly loud and the bonfire with lovers sitting in a circle around it, makes your heart sing in joy. A cozy atmosphere spreads and makes everything warm. Your mood lightens, laughter gets carefree, and a strange feeling of content seeps in. You hold your partner closer, hand in hands inside a thin sheet wrapped around the both of you like a cocoon protecting you from outside interference. Gentle playfulness and a hint of naughty romance fills your mind. The entire scenario is of young love at its supreme away from the worldly worries and tensions, completely intoxicated by themselves. And this is my night of dreams.

I will always feel bad for FRIENDS

It’s been over 5 times that I have seen all 10 seasons of friends back to back, and yet every time I see the end of it, a little piece of my heart breaks. I do not know if it’s just me, or the characters in the show, but they always become a part of me when I am watching. Every single time they grow as people from one season to another, yet making stupid mistakes and realizing them later. I cannot compare the joy it gives me when I see the smile on Joey’s face when he see’s pizza or the way Monica gets obsessed with things. There are little things of the show that I carry on in my mind after I finish watching, laughing for no reason apparently, and have a joyous feeling of them always being there with me as my FRIENDS.

An Earnest Request

It has been a decent amount of time since I wrote my last blog. This friend of mine(name withheld so as not to hurt the sentiments of my other very close friends) called up to ask why I hadn’t updated my blog, to which I very simply replied saying that I had forgotten all about it. The truth is I hadn’t forgotten, but I was avoiding it. Every time I tried to write I came up with a decent start but could never give it a justified ending. The problem persisting I decided to give myself a little break from it. And before I knew it, more than a month had passed. So today when I received her call, I finally thought of breaking the jinx, and so I have.

A Love Letter

It was yesterday. I was talking to one of my school friends after a long time. It was but natural that we both got nostalgic and our talks drifted back to school. We were talking about school time sweethearts and who is still with whom. I asked her if she still liked me (cause she did and I had messed up my relation with her) and to that I got a sweet reply, “Yes”.
That night the conversation ended on a good note but a very sad memory lingered in my mind. It was the day I had broken up with her (flashback, 3 years back). I dint feel like calling her and breaking up. The reason being, I felt disgusted by her. I had seen her with another guy at the movies. I found a way much easier. I emailed her.
Dear #&@*$
I love you. I always did and I always will. You are a lovely person, a person who makes a hot summer day freezing cold, a person who makes me thirsty in the rainy season, a person who makes me weak in my knees every time she laughs, a person who lives eternally in my heart like the sun in the heart of the sky. But today, this world seemed to be a different place, it seemed I was living a fake life all this time. Today I saw you with another guy. I broke. My heart shattered like a crystal glass shot with a gun, my feelings poured out like water from a waterfall. All this time you were betraying me, but I was unaware of it. Love for you is a game I think, and you play it well. You kept me thinking that you are only mine, and I was a happy fool who believed this. All dreams were raised to dust today. My love, I have nothing much to say to you. I loved you with all my heart, I gave u my life, but it is obvious that it wasn’t enough for you. All the promises we made; why, why did you make them, when u knew that you couldn’t carry them. All said and done, I wish you are happy with what you have done. I will try to move on and forget you, but I know it is an impossible task. I will leave you now and will ask you to remember one thing," You love someone when you know the person so well that you can guess the time he will sneeze". Good bye.
Today, after 3 years of writing this, I feel so stupid. I was thinking that how at one point of time things which seem so intense and important, seem stupid and uncalled for some time later. May be a few years from now I will find this totally ridiculous. Life is a funny thing, makes us laugh at ourselves more than others.

My K9 Konnections

It was a cloudy day today. Small drops of water falling from the sky, I had spent my time till late afternoon walking around aimlessly in the campus. It was around 5 in the evening when the cold was too much for me to bear and I decided in favor of a cup of tea. I called up my girlfriend who was asleep enjoying the warmth of her heavy quilt in the late November afternoon. After convincing her for around ten minutes to meet me for tea, I finally sat down near the tea stall to read the day’s newspaper. It was then I realized how cold the days had started to become.
A small puppy which was roaming around aimlessly nearby somehow found his way to me. I saw her curl up near my shoe to save herself from the cold. The soil was moist and cold. I could make out that the puppy was feeling very cold. Her small body with its dirty fur kept shivering as she tried to keep herself warm.
All this happening I ordered 2 cups of tea for us. And then I realized. I hadn’t been looking at her for about two minutes and she had found her way on the top of my shoe. Her front legs along with the front part of her torso were on my shoe with her head resting on it as if it were a pillow. The sight made me feel a strange wanting for the little thing. My tea had come by this time and I lost no time in giving away half cup of tea to her. I poured the tea on a plate and kept it in front of her. She lost time no time in trying to gobble down all of it in one go. But as soon as she put her tongue in it, she realized how hot it was and stepped back. I sat there watching her, sipping my half cup of tea and realizing the value of even the smallest spark of life. I kept sitting there till she finished her tea, licking it with her tongue. By the time she finished, she had stopped shivering and it looked like she was feeling much better. My girlfriend had turned up by this time and I turned my attention to “her” now.

Old ties

There are days when you feel quiet. Not low, but quiet. You feel the things around you absent even though when they are there. They seem to matter so less. These are the days you find alone for no reason. You tend to drift back to the old days of school when you were young and friends used to be there around you to look at you and say “Kya hua?”. The glimpse of a smile touches your face remembering how you had spent your childhood with those very people who once couldn’t speak properly but now are at different parts of the country trying to make their future.
Tonight I had a similar feeling. I was sitting alone on the roof top smoking a cigarette. I was staring at the moon which was only partly visible but still had enough light to light up the place around me filled with shallow mist indicating that winters are setting in. I was thinking about my school days. Every minute passed by seemed to bring back so many memories that I almost said aloud to myself “Oye, who dekh…..” . My cell buzzed. I was brought back from my state of trans to reality. It was one of those moments when you just don’t know how to react. I had received an SMS from my first girlfriend in school.
The SMS read “How you doin? Missin u vry much. :( ”. It is difficult for me to explain how it felt at the instant because only one thing I remember that I kept thinking about this that how she and I had been thinking of each other at almost the same time. It wasn’t sudden or unexpected for me as she used to send me messages every once in a while. But the message at that very moment with those words in them had a different effect.
After that I called her up. Had almost an hour long talk with her about the good old days. All was good. But the feeling I had in those very moments are something I will cherish for a long time.